im so annoyed, went dancing on friday, sat in the corner most of the nite wishing i9 had my blade with me, then i got to dance with this really hot guy, things went a little too far and we kissed. it wasnt a big deal and it didnt mean anything, then my 'friend' told jonny, my bf or my ex now i guess since hes not talking to me. anyway thats not the monly thing confusing me, theres a guy i really like but its way too soon and i dont want everyone calling me a slut, im not. funny isnt it how one little kiss can ruin months of a good relationship.... also with the new guy, james me him and my friend, lisa nearly got locked in the kaiapoi library today, which was fun... Anyways im going to go bubi from your emo friend, morganxxx (p.s why do people think its an insult to call emos emo???)
ok well life officially sucks worse than it did before. everyone i know is such a hypochrite. its like they have one set of rules for them and another for me. its so gay. take my fucked up 'friends' its ok for all of them to cut themselves, they even encourage each other but all of them are against me cutting myself. double standards. you'd think that just cos its me it wouldn't change but oh no, no such luck. its like the fact that they all think im anorexic when im NOT. its like they think theyre being caring or whatever but theyre not, theyre just annoying. that is also the reason i am now fighting with one of my friends. shes being such a cow and refuses to talk to me until i stop cutting and then one of our other friends came and asked me why i hated her so much and i was like WTF she started ignoring me not the other way around. anyway i've decided theyre so not worth it. they can join the club of people that hate me, i believe they have jackets. also had a run in with stupid samantha gregory today. such a slut. she came up to my friend (who has short curly hair which she tried to dye dark brown but cos it was blonde it went ginger) and goes 'um i like what you did with your hair, seriously i do' the whole time standing there with this smug fake angellic exspression on her face. so i told her she was a slut. she didnt like that, oh well not my problem. her and her other stupid preppy friends are always giving us a hard time, not that we care but it gets a bit tiring after a while. now why can't the people like her have depression instead of us, they don't even understand. anyway thats why i wrote i hate everyone on my leg with my blade and kill me on my wrist. the joys of the razor blade. and how stupid is it when people ask you 'OMG did you cut yourself' no i drew these here with a vivid or paint WTF do you think. GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR why am i surrounded by people who don't understand. so after all that anyone out there who wants to contact me you know where you can find my email on my profile or giv me a txt, 0273470410. no stalkers please, you won't be dealt with lightly. once again thats all from this little emo, im off to cut myself toodles </3 morgan xxx
(p.s heard an emo joke today Q.how do you confuse an emo
A.put them in a round room so theres no corner for them to sit in and cut themselves. haha oh so funny )
cutting depressed depression hate angry "preppy sluts" emo lucky wrists blood
i hate how no one cares about anything unless it directly involves themself. take for instance the fact that you sit on a bus slitting your wrists and hands. this is the position i found myself in today. sitting at the back of the bus in the middle of the back seat, slitting my wrists with this random girl watching me and talking about me with her friend in another language. it was very annoying i felt like telling her to fuck off, or that if she stared too hard she might find that something bad would happen. lucky for me there was another emo girl in the backseat sitting in the corner (where i wanted to sit) who asked me if i wanted to swap seats with her since she was watching. a random act of kindness. someone who cared about some one other than themselves. i find that the more depressed someone is the more aware they are of others wants and needs and the more considerate they are of them. anyway to that girl, thanks, you made my day... well as much as anyone could. thats all for now xxxmorganxxx </3
The way my tender heart has crisply fallen. ripe yet rotten. i fade to dust.
if i scratch my face will anyone notice. i wonder this as i sit here. no matter how deep, no matter how many scars, how many will even notice. however many, fewer still will care.
i sit at home watching the hail and think how depressing it is. small balls of ice pummeling the ground with so much force that they are propelled back up towards the sky. they come to rest on the ground and then they melt never to be seen or heard again. it's fate. the pitter patter sound on the roof, so pretty, does not make up for the fact that in a week, a month no one will remember this. now the thunder and lightning has started, a dog barks and it's already over, although rain still falls we are left to forget anothewr spell of weather. dark, depressing fate. can none foresee the virtues or are we all just isolated souls. inside we are all just that hail hitting the ground.....
Sometimes i wonder if committing suicide will do any good. i mean if there's no one to miss you and no one to notice you're gone is there really any point? And has anyone really noticed what jerks people can really be. i mean the other day we were at a dance every one was all hot nd sweaty it was dark, so dark u couldn't see anyones faces, like i literally mean no ones faces, any way this guy i was dancing with decided that right there in the middle of the dance floor that he wanted to have sex with me. well as you can imagine i put up a strong fight but he was stronger than me and his friends were standing around us so no one could see then one of them chickened out and pulled him off me. and of course he doesn't get any punishment what so ever for attempted rape and yet everyone started calling me a slut when i didn't even do anything wrong. people are ass holes.no one seemed to care that it was all his fault. and the thing is some how i saw his face and my god i'll never forget it it's going to haunt me for the rest of my life, i look back over all of this and then realise that it's so unfair that i'm labelled a slut, skank etc when he did all the dirty work while i fought him. any way at the moment thats about all i have to say and i am seriously considering suicide but the whole reason i made my poiint earlier is because i reckon no one would notice, at least not for a while. they already give me slack about cutting my wrists then call me emo, like its a bad thing. thats all from your local depressed anorexic emo lass, tune in again for more depressing tales from my horrible life. xxx
OK so why do people always complain about the things they can't change... its so annoying. you complain about trivial things, if your boyfriend/ girlfriend left you their not worth it anyway, especially if they left you for someone who they had been seeing behind your back. when they said they loved you they obviously lied. never believe anyone who says that they will never leave you because at some stage their going to have to and you csn't change that. people die, people move and people move on. their feelings change and no matter what you feel they aren't going to pretend just to make you happy, besides wouldn.t you rather they do it while your still young and hot and capable of getting another guy/ girl with whom you can go out with. we are all just floating here all desperately alone and incapable of acting on that. we depend too much on each other, we are too social for our own good and we hatetoo much. we love to bve around other people but when there are too many other people or we feel threatened we just blow them up withan atomic bomb and then when the millions of survivor's children have cancer or disabilities or mutations we claim that its not our fault because we didn't know that it was going to happen but thats not an excuse thats crazy self centred men trying to convince themselves that they did it for the greater good and that it's actually the victims fault. we need to get over ourselves. we need to grow up. aren't we supposed to evolve over time because we seem to have regressed especially in the choices we make things are getting hard so lets take drugs or get drunk. thats not how to handle our problems. we are going to destroy ourselves, even if it takes 1,000,000 years its still going to happen.
relationships
